Tuesday, 14 January 2014 13:19

Goodness! My Bad…

Rate this item
(1 Vote)
Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.
Albert Einstein

Recently I’ve experienced an unbroken run of blog posts with typing errors, a letter here, a word there… and let’s not talk about my grammar or eek, punctuation. I am mortified by the whole sorry state of affairs! Why, oh why can I not see my own mistakes? Maybe now is a good time to apologise for my errors and let you know that I am so on to it. Google has some very clever tips for spotting your own mistakes and I’ve also roped my long- suffering husband (his description!) into spell checking for me.

That said, not seeing your own mistakes is actually a very interesting phenomenon. It points to a deeper truth that the way we see the world is not necessarily an accurate reflection of the world we are seeing. Most of us are familiar with visual blind spots when driving (or typing in my case), but we also have psychological blind spots that colour our world and profoundly influence our experience.

Basically there are aspects of our personalities that are obvious to everyone but ourselves. How extraordinary that we can hide parts of our self, from our very own self!  But here is where it starts to get seriously freaky, if we aren’t able to see ourselves clearly, it does not bode well for how clearly we are able to see others, now does it?

If you have a strong reaction to someone, either good or bad, there is a good chance you are attributing things you don’t like or can’t accept about yourself on to someone else. It’s a nifty little move that conveniently deflects the problem away from you in the short term, but holds you back in ways you cannot imagine in the long term. The bottom line is that whether you are madly in love with someone or gnashing your teeth in frustration, chances are, if you are having a strong reaction, it has more to do with you than with them.

So my two cents worth, is get to know yourself, all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly. Get curious. When you are having a strong reaction to someone, wonder why? Why am I so affected by this? What is going on in me? The more we learn to love and accept ourselves the more we are able to love and accept others. Try it, it will change your world!

Click here to receive updates via RSS:

Comments  

# Anwar Abdi 2016-08-30 02:59
Wow very powerful, that’s really true I always hide myself from our athletes because I’m scared to take criticism from others,
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-30 07:42
Somehow criticism does bring out the urge to hide in me too, Anwar!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# heidi 2016-08-26 12:39
I am cursed with the not caring what people think gene. However, I do see myself very clearly. I am a deeply flawed person who has made a lot of mistakes. There are times I try to fix some things that can be and there is also the acceptance of being me.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-30 07:41
You are so lucky to be free of that particular burden, Heidi and to have acceptance with awareness is a real strength. Kudos to you!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Ella Ivoire 2016-08-25 14:23
Tania, this is an incredible thoughtful post. I have nominated my boyfriend to be my error-catching- guy. We can't do everything by ourselves. :)
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-25 15:01
Aw, thanks Ella! So glad you have a happy little helper boyfriend, it's love that makes the world go round, after all!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Ivelisse 2016-08-22 19:35
I try and have my hubby read my blog posts as well! Unless they are episode reviews where its pretty much me talking as I would to any of my girlfriends lol

Love,
Ivelisse | CarnationDreams .com
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-22 20:07
Sometimes I also let my husband be surprised by what lands in his in-box and sometimes he is surprised by it, Lol!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Borka 2016-08-21 02:49
Wow, I studied this in psychology but I have never asked myslef if I do have real feeling for someone because of them or because of me. You really got me wondering now. Am I living the right way, oh G
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-21 08:39
It is quite intriguing isn't it, Borka! So much to learn and it all depends on how far down the rabbit hole we want to go!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Rose Sahetapy 2016-08-20 17:43
You have said it well! Others are reflection of ourselves. They're the mirror of our hidden truth, either good or bad.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-21 08:37
What we see, is really ourselves. Such a profound way of looking at the world.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Tiina A 2016-08-19 20:53
Very interesting! it is a good advice to be curious about ourselvelves and find out the good and bad sides better. But it's also a bit scary.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-20 10:27
I do think we hide for good reason, Tiina and it is surprisingly scary to face yourself. So fascinating!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Elizabeth O. 2016-08-19 03:03
Such a beautiful realization and message that we all need to hear/read. It's important that we get to know who we are first before we start judging or accusing other people, because you're right, there's a huge chance that our reactions are based on who we are and not who they are.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:27
Thanks Elizabeth, It has been life changing for me to even begin grasping this concept and attempting to live by it. I have found the more at peace I am with myself, the kinder and more accepting I am of others. Talk about a win / win!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Nina 2016-08-19 01:21
Getting to know yourself and accepting the bad with the good is the best. That's what I try to do for sure.

Nina
aworldofdresses.com
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:25
A client and I were chatting about it this morning. Being able to accept all of ourselves, with an attitude of 'friendliness' is what coaching is all about!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Rosie Romance 2016-08-18 22:35
It's very interesting that you say we hide ourselves from ourselves but it makes sense. If there are elements of our personalities that we don't like, it's only natural that we try and conceal them.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:23
It's mind blowing isn't it!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Ana De- Jesus 2016-08-18 21:31
That's true I hide many parts of myself because I am scared for people to see the real me but then again isn't this what makes us human?
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:22
My husband and I were watching X-Factor the other day and talking about how strange it is that we go to such lengths to avoid showing emotion and yet, when other people do, it is so touching and beautiful. We connect on that level of what makes us human and it makes me wonder why we find it so terrifying.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Marta 2016-08-18 20:45
I think I can very much relate... Weakness is what irritates me most. I'm a DIY girl that never-ever asks for help... I'm learning to accept my vulnerability, but it's hard.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:11
I love how you have handled this. Marta. At the end of the day, most things that trouble us come down to this vulnerability that we would do almost anything to avoid. Good for you for being so self-aware.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Claudia 2016-08-18 20:43
I agree, our strongest reactions to any situation usually reflects about our own position and inner turmoil, and says so much more about ourselves, than it does about the person or situation we are reacting to.

Blessings!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:09
Brilliantly put, Claudia and surprisingly true!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Sandra 2014-01-16 20:10
Great post Tania - I'd rate it too but can't work out how lol!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-08-19 11:08
Thanks, Sandra. I think you just click on the star you want to rate it at!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote

Add comment


Refresh