Monday, 30 June 2014 18:34

Forever Friends

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Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art….
It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.
C.S. Lewis

As the date for another blog post drew near, I started to think I was suffering from writer's block. I couldn't think of a singe topic to write about. Oh my word, the pressure was building and I had absolutely nothing to say. Then the universe gave me two timely nudges. The first  was when a friend and I met for coffee and chatted about how hard friendships are to maintain these days.

The second was a Freudian slip of note. I was replying to an email from a friend when I accidentally copied the words 'How are you keeping?', and inadvertently posted them onto my Facebook page. It was crazy! I actually didn't know I had done it until some lovely friends replied and I figured out what had happened! And that's how, to my relief, this blog post was born. Yay Universe!

I say Freudian slip because I posted what I'd been wishing to hear. There's been a lot going on in my life recently and I've needed friends. There have been moments when I've wished  someone would just pick up the phone and ask me how I'm doing. Recently a friend was bed ridden for a while due to an injury and although I thought of her often, I never called because I didn't really know what to say. There are many reasons why we don't call. Life is so busy that taking time out to chat with a friend can seem like a luxury not a necessity, but friendships, like anything of value, need care and attention.

When I began writing today, I honestly didn't know what I was going to talk about, but I showed up and started off by acknowledging that I didn't know what to say. Sometimes that is all we need to do. It is enough to just show up and be there. We don't need to have all the answers, we don't even need to have a lot of time. Sometimes an sms to say, I’m thinking of you, can mean the world to someone feeling alone and out of their depth.

Friendship is one of the joys of life, if yours are slipping away through lack of care, then pick up the phone right now and say something... anything. Marcel Proust says it beautifully, 'Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom'.

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Comments  

# Amanda Love 2016-09-05 16:31
Being a good friend doesn't mean that you have the solution to every problem that your friend encounters. It's actually just being there to listen and hear them out. I love this post!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-06 08:36
A friend and I had one of those conversations last night, and it was so lovely when she said she appreciated having someone to talk to that just understood. No solutions offered!
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# Jennifer L 2016-09-05 04:36
Completely agree on the need to nourish our friendship. It's so important to remember to cherish the amazing people in our lives.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-05 06:51
It is, isn' it!
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# Elizabeth O. 2016-09-04 16:06
That's really lovely. I agree, friendships should be nourished just like any other relationship. I love how you said that we don't need the answers, we just have to be there. Sometimes, we think it's important to have the answers before you start talking to people, because that's what you think they expect from you, when really they just want you to lend them an ear.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-04 19:14
I so agree Elizabeth, in fact when someone keeps throwing suggestions at you, it can leave you feeling unheard or misunderstood. One of those age old male / female issues that seems to cause all sorts of trouble!
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# Ivelisse 2016-09-03 22:50
Don't you just love when a new idea just comes to you! I agree, friendships can take effort to maintain.

Love,
Ivelisse | CarnationDreams .com
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-04 06:55
It's the best moment, Ivelisse, blog topics kind of appear with a little sparkle and you just know!
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# Claudia 2016-09-03 17:47
I love that quote - yes, we should be grateful for those people who make us happy. It is up to us to cherish and nurture these important relationships. Great post!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 20:04
I love everything CS Lewis! Thanks Claudia.
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# Ana De- Jesus 2016-09-03 16:22
I feel bad some times when I think of friends but don't contact them. Yet when I am feeling lonely and wishing people would see how I understand how others must feel.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 19:58
I know that feeling, Ana, when you wish that someone would reach out and find you. Sadly, it doesn't happen often enough.
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# lex 2016-09-03 15:53
maintaining friendship is one thing from having friends, alot of commitment and time along with resource is required just as we will say people should never have a had choice of being stuck with life and friends.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 20:03
It is commitment, Lex and if they are good ones, it's worth being stuck with friends for life!
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# Tiina A 2016-09-03 15:09
I have that bad habit not taking care enough of my friendships. Of course, it's a bit more difficult as I live in another country that most of my long time friends, but that's also just an excuse nowadays when there're so many ways to be in touch with people no matter where you live.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 19:55
Good friendships can survive long distance and sporadic contact as long as the connection remains, and it is certainly worth keeping that alive.
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# Darren Hawbrook 2016-09-03 12:21
It's easy to take friends for granted, and I think every single one of us is guilty of that sometimes.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 13:31
Yep, we probably are!
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# Carrie 2016-09-03 09:21
Yes as we get older and our lives get busier it is much harder to maintain friendships. While I don't see my friends any more (ocean between us) we talk frequently via text message and skype.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 13:31
Technology is amazing for helping you keep in touch. Letter writing had it's own joys though, which email doesn't quite match with it being so instant. It definitely makes it easier!
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# Barbara Chapman 2016-09-03 08:00
Friendships are one of lifes joys but sometimes you drift apart and even if you try and contact them they may be too busy for you. I have some friends I haven't heard from in a while and so I contacted them but they basically say hi and how are you and then I continue to never hear from them.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 08:02
I have also had that Barbara, and it's what makes those friendships that endure even more precious.
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# Jam and Tea Blog 2016-09-03 03:47
You are right friendships can be hard! The best friendships are the ones that require little maintenance and have no drama. I have 5 friendships like that in life and I love them!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:20
You are so blessed! It sounds like your friendships truly enrich you life, Gifts to enjoy.
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# Brian 2016-09-03 00:52
Do you find that when the term "nowadays" is used, it usually has a negative connotation? Our desire for "independence" isolates us?
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:18
This was such an intriguing reply, Brian, I hadn't thought if it like that before, but after you mentioned it, yes, it does have a negative connotation. I was quite surprised to realise it, but there is definitely a subtle criticism for me when I say nowadays. Something is definitely isolating us, and whether it is a desire for independence or not, is something to mull over for sure.
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# Ana 2016-09-03 00:39
Friendship is so difficult to maintain these days! Everyone is busy in staying at their own virtual world that hardly they have time to pick up the phone and make a call or meet personally!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:12
Tell me about it, Ana! I shake my head at my own priorities sometimes and wonder what on earth I am thinking.
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# Liz Mays 2016-09-02 22:19
I agree that a simple text can really improve someone's day. We should all work on the ways we communicate with friends.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:11
Yes! There is something lovely about being thought of. It sounds kind of trite to just say, I'm thinking of you, but it's actually so touching and meaningful when it is 'you' being thought about.
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# francesca 2016-09-02 12:54
Your friend is right that it can be difficult to maintain friendships nowadays but I love your comment on how valuable friendship is and we need to sort it out!!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:09
We do, Francesca and that was a note to myself, as much as anyone!
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# Imogen Clegg 2016-09-02 11:42
I totally agree!I think it can be really hard to maintain friendships when you grow up and get jobs etc but I always see my friends at least once a month
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:08
It is hard and it does take effort and you are obviously willing to make that effort, Good for you, Imogen! Friends are fabulous!
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# Faryal 2014-07-01 16:21
Well said Tania! Wink wink
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-03 07:06
Lol! So many lovely memories.
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