I recently listened to a conversation between Oprah and Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat Pray Love) about people who push your buttons. Elizabeth talked of a great teacher she had in India who said, 'If you think you're spiritually evolved and enlightened, go home for Christmas and see how it goes!' Ah yes, the challenge of good old family dynamics. How many of us will get through the holiday period entirely unscathed? There is always that one comment, look or tone of that one person, that hurtles us straight back into childhood behaviours we thought we had long outgrown.

So how do we move past the gritted teeth and bitten tongues to waft through the holidays on a cloud of wisdom and maturity? Is it even possible to keep our balance and the peace? While it is no small challenge, it helps to remember we have various tools in our tool box to call on for help.

In some cases, patience is just the ticket. We have to dig deep and resolve to grow beyond old, habitual patterns. There is something empowering about taking the high road for the greater good, especially at Christmas. At other times, writing an angry letter that you don't send can relieve the emotional pressure building inside and create some much needed breathing space. There are many benefits to expressing yourself fully in private, especially if it helps identify the real bugbear. Once you know the real issue, more skilful ways to approach the situation become apparent.

Sometime we need to speak up and confront the person. It is neither nice, nor easy but it may be necessary to change a dynamic in the long run. In the same conversation with her teacher, the monk reminded Elizabeth that we have an obligation to love everybody in the world, but some people we must love from a safe distance. Some people we simply need to stay away from. The damage they do to our inner self is simply not worth it.

Families are a mixed kettle of fish, they are our history and our legacy and each situation and every family is different. Before we respond, it's worth taking a moment to weigh up the consequence of our reaction. There is something wonderful about 'being family' at this time of the year. Enjoy every moment and I wish you and your precious families a happy, love-and-laughter filled festive season. May you bring joy to each other and to the world around you.