A little while ago, my husband and I were having an ...um... domestic discussion about how laundry 'almost' in the laundry basket actually 'isn't'! And while on the topic, it was also noted that dishes in the sink are NOT QUITE in the dishwasher. My brilliant, (IMHO), last words on the topic were, “Almost isn't, is it?” It was a fabulous ending which to my delight, also happened to make the perfect title for a blog post! So here we are at what should have been the end of the story, but turned out to be the start of something!

Having everything exactly right begins by being oh-so-satisfying and then life happens. Unfortunately life is pretty messy most of the time and before we know it those wonderful, perfect things that brought us such happiness become the very source of our suffering. Instead of cultivating more satisfaction we get caught up in the drive to avoid dissatisfaction. The moment that happens we stumble down the slippery slope of perfectionism.

The other day a client and I were discussing the difference between standards and expectations. It's easy to confuse the two, however, we are well-advised to be aware of the difference. What is this difference? One is fact and one mere fiction.

In a Huffington Post article, Daniel Scott describes it like this: A standard is a level of quality, something that is accepted as a norm and generally used as a basis for judgement. An expectation is a strong belief that something is going to happen in the future, or a feeling that someone or something is going to achieve something.

Sadly, if it doesn't meet an expectation, our best is never good enough. The trouble is that expectations are bred in the unstable, somewhat unrealistic recesses of our minds; our imagination! As make-believe as they may be, expectations are the breeding ground of what makes us unhappy. Our logical mind may be well-aware that the chances of things working out exactly as we wish are almost non-existent, but in our heart-of-hearts, it's what we hope for.

The solution? Give up the unhelpful habit of dissatisfaction and cultivate the habit of being happy. The more we focus on what is wrong, the less we see what is 'right' here in front of us. So make the effort to see more of what is happening when it is happening. You may be surprised to discover that it is enough. Remember, ultimately satisfaction, not perfection, is what makes us happy.