Sunday, 08 January 2017 11:00

What a Start!

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Remember tonight... for it is the beginning of always.
Dante Alghieri

2017 did not get off to the best start. On the night of the 29th Dec, while in Johannesburg with my sister, my father fell over a glass table. My sister’s birthday the next day, was spent waiting for x-rays and sonars to assess the damage to his shoulder. It’s bad and to cut a long story short, my father is booked for shoulder surgery this week.

Of course, this could only all be arranged once the New Year long weekend was over and the relevant doctors back from leave. So in the meantime, after securely strapping my dad’s arm in a sling, (which, btw,  takes an engineering degree to figure out!) we headed off to  my sister’s surprise birthday lunch with a rowdy bunch of her fabulous friends. It was such fun!

I’m a natural born ‘catastophizer’. Words like disaster, fantastic, terrible and fabulous are as much a part of my vocabulary as ‘and & but’ are. When something like this happens, it’s easy for me to talk about what a disaster our holiday turned into, but that’s not actually a true reflection of our ten days away.

One bad thing absolutely did happen and yes, there were a string of ramifications including having to cut a much-needed holiday short. However, we also had a wonderful Christmas, relaxed with family and friends, shopped, welcomed in the New Year on a gorgeous farm with dear friends and, all in all, had a really good time.

The tendency to focus on what goes wrong is habitual for most of us. We think and talk about bad stuff far more than we do good stuff... unless we’re in love... and for as long as that lasts! The more we focus on what’s wrong, the more bad stuff we see and the worse we feel. It’s an easy trap to fall into. We trick ourselves by thinking that focusing on what went wrong is a solution somehow. It isn’t. It’s a can of worms that turns into a Pandora’s box of negativity.

Applying the same principle to positivity is just as flawed, it’s as much a lie as focusing exclusively on the negative. We are far better served by reminding ourselves of a more balanced approach. Our holiday was neither fabulous nor a disaster but had moments of both within it. People are usually a mixture of awe-inspiring and soul-destroying in one confounding package. Remembering this paradoxical simultaneity is the tricky bit.

There is so much more to the world than it appears, things are often not what they seems and we cannot always trust our own impressions. Bridging the gap between things being either ‘like this’ or ‘like that’, is a world worth investigating.

Which brings me to my plan of action (POA) for the year, to hold life gently in the palm of an open hand and let it unfold. What’s your POA for 2017?

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Comments  

# Eugenia 2017-01-15 19:02
Sometimes bad things happen, but we should always believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Hope this year will bring us happiness!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-16 07:31
I agree!
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# David 2017-01-13 23:22
I hope you have an awesome year! I feel like we don't have to wait for a new year to start doing something and change anything. Sometimes it's hard focusing on the positives but it's the right thing to do.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-14 08:55
Ooo, you are so right, there really is no need to wait for a new year. I just love the extra inspiration a new year seems to bring with it.
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# Ali Rost 2017-01-13 22:43
I hope your Dad is doing well. That's awful for everyone .. mostly him! You guys have such a great outlook.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-14 08:53
Thanks Ali, and he is doing surprisingly well considering his age.
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# NooDz 2017-01-13 14:22
not everything that starts off badly does't mean it'll ends this way...just try to focus on the positive things
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-14 08:52
And there are always good moments in amongst the chaos, if we pay attention.
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# Elizabeth Doren 2017-01-13 13:31
Sorry for the bad start. It's ebbs and flows at least that's what I'm banking on for 2017.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-14 08:51
You and me both, Elizabeth!
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# Debonita 2017-01-13 11:20
omg sorry to hear this. I agree that we focus on bad things. I am glad you have a plan of action for 2017 to hold life gently.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-13 11:38
Thanks Debonita. Hold life gently is such a powerful statement, isn't it!
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# Emma White 2017-01-13 00:30
Sorry to hear about your dad it's awful when people we love hurt themselves. And like you it's the negative things I tend to focus on and know this needs to change.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-13 11:37
It is awful seeing someone you love hurting, worst feeling ever.
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# Daisy J. Crawford 2017-01-12 18:08
What a positive outlook! I'm sorry your dad got injured but it's a good thing he's still alive. I want to look on the bright side (and not be such a worrier) and let things unfold as well!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-13 11:36
You and me, Daisy, I want to banish worrying full stop!
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# Freya Farrington 2017-01-12 14:19
My POA...Blog more, and life a more healthy lifestyle, do something that scares me everyday and pay someone a compliment!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-13 11:35
Love your to do list, I hope you get them done, they are great!
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# Tiina A 2017-01-11 12:45
I haven't yet figured out what my POA for this year would be. There are always so many unexpected things happening (like to your sister and dad!) so yours is such a great POA.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-12 09:48
Thanks Tiina, it helped yesterday with a day of waiting, as you do with hospitals!
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# Elizabeth O. 2017-01-11 06:16
I would like to think that having a positive mindset changes how you react to life and the challenges that you face. I do get your point though, we have to see in the middle, life is not just good or bad.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-12 09:47
I did step bravely into some quite tricky ground here! I absolutely agree with what you said, Elizabeth, a positive mindset is so powerful. The essence of what I am hinting at here, is that the positivity should come from truth rather than denial. Something along those lines...
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# Sara 2017-01-11 05:41
I'm so sorry to read about you father's fall, I hope it all goes well and that he recovers soon. We do tend to think the worst, and it's had to balance.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-12 09:43
Thanks Sara, he had the op yesterday and is doing okay.
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# kathryn Maher 2017-01-10 16:29
Glad i read your post just now . iIve been feeling down and looking at the bad side of things where Ipa should be focusing on a more balanced approach. Hope your father gets better soon.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-10 16:35
Thanks Kathryn. Good luck with finding some balance, it is in these tough times that we can do our best work, if we have the courage.
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# Ana De- Jesus 2017-01-09 23:39
Oh no your poor father I hope that the surgery goes well, good luck. Your right it is so natural to always think the worst and I have anxiety so I am always worried, its quite hard to think rationally sometimes.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-10 16:34
Anxiety is my bug bear as well, Ana and it is such a useless, waste of time, as are most addictions. That said, it is still not an easy one to leave behind.
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# Ana De- Jesus 2017-01-12 17:06
When you put it like that anxiety is a addiction, your right. It can really affect you.
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# Liz Mays 2017-01-09 17:32
I'm so sorry to hear about your father's fall. I agree that it's human nature to worry and think the worst. It takes a bit of training and practice to counter that.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-10 16:33
Thanks Liz, old age is tough. I am hoping the training and practice actually works over the long term. It would be a wonderful habit to cultivate for later on in life.
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# Shennam 2017-01-08 11:18
You and your family are always in my prayers.

This year is my Year of Discipline.
'No more procrastination.'
Ringu Tulku taught once that he had this up on a notice board in his office and after a while one of his students wrote underneath, 'From Tomorrow'
I always remember this when I am being lazy.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2017-01-10 16:32
Hey Shennam, love this! Naughty student.
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