I See You...
A simple smile while looking someone in the eyes as you pass in the hall.
Saying please and thank you. Acknowledging that the person in front of you exists.
Today, I’ve cancelled all appointments and I’m taking a mental health day. The last few months have been an emotional roller-coaster. Apart from the death of Kevin’s uncle in August, at the end of May 2014, my sister and I discovered we had an older brother who had been given up for adoption at birth. On the 22 September 2017, David died. Three years is a very short time to meet, get to know, and lose someone, especially the unique and extraordinary man our brother turned out to be.
At 7pm on Sunday night, Carte Blanche, a local TV programme, aired a tribute to David for the work he had done and the man he was. It was beautiful but watching it churned up so many emotions. David touched the lives of, and brought hope, to so many people and the outpouring of love for him has been incredible to witness.
At 7am the next morning, while walking the dogs, Colt got into a fight with two dogs that were running loose around the neighbourhood. To see our gentle giant turn into a vicious killing machine was horrific. With the help of two men walking past, we separated the dogs and I came home shaken, with Colt bleeding from his eye.
I had one hour before I had to leave for a business meeting in Ballito, an hour and a half drive away. The meeting could not easily be postponed. I needed training, the guys were only in the area for a week and my car was booked at the panel-beaters for the next five days. After taking some deep breaths, I called Kevin who came home to sort Colt out, reminded myself I can do hard things, got into my bashed up car and headed off. By the time I got home last night, after we’d collected Colt from the vet, I was truly and utterly exhausted.
The day after my brother died, a final update he had prepared before he died was posted, on his behalf, on Facebook. The quote from David at the beginning of this post ends with these words, ‘Be present with that person. The Zulu greeting is Sawubona and directly translated that means ‘I SEE YOU!’
Sometimes it’s not only other people we need to be present with. Sometimes we need to take a moment to sit with our own pain and breathe through it. It takes courage to witness heartbreak, whether it’s our own or that of someone else. But it is important, I see you is a very powerful phrase of acknowledgement. Sometimes just having our pain witnessed is all we need to give us the courage to endure it. Farewell, David. It’s been an epic journey.
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I'm a Personal Development Life Coach who specialises in L.I.F.E (Living Into your Fullest Expression). Based in Richards Bay, on the East Coast of South Africa, I live with my long-suffering husband, (his description!), two much-loved dogs and care for my elderly father who has Alzheimer's.
Read more about me here.