Monday, 01 September 2014 00:00

Too Good to be True!

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain

I've got that, 'Oh my word, I need to get into shape for summer!' feeling. I'm sure many of you are familiar with it? It's when you decide you are never going to eat anything bad again and from now on only the tiniest morsels necessary for survival will pass your lips. And I’ll be starting just as soon as I've had one last cup of tea and maybe the last of those delicious rose rusks. I mean I may as well finish them... it's just one rusk after all.

So this time round I've decided to do it differently. I am not going to pressure myself into being who I am not. The sad reality is that, I am no health nut, I definitely do not like buckwheat bread and the thought of exercising for an hour a day makes me want to weep... and comfort eat.

It's interesting, life coaching is all about setting goals and working towards achieving them which seems simple, but the ability to set inspiring and achievable goals is not always easy. The trouble starts with the idea of an ideal self we all have. And it is not just the ideal me, but the ideal everything, job, spouse, home, car, friends, lifestyle, you name it, and true as Bob, there'll be an ideal somewhere in there.

Where am I going with this? Well the problem with setting a goal for an ideal you, is that it is not the actual you and often, after some examination, it turns out to not even be something you really want in your life. We spend so much of our precious life trying to be what we are not that we miss out on all the joy and wonder of being who we are.

Goals are wonderful and absolutely brilliant to have as a guiding light for your life, but when you set goals make sure you do it with care. Balance the ideal you with the real you. Take your daily chores, level of willpower and the strength of how much you want this goal into account.

We are all such unique and individual beings and we need to discover what works for ourselves. Taking care of our health is probably the most important task we have. When you do it, do it with care, with kindness and with gentleness. Inspire yourself into well being and enjoy becoming the best you, you can be.

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Comments  

# Laura H 2016-09-17 16:49
I wholeheartedly agree with all you've said. Too many people set unrealistic expectations and then nothing changes because the person they were trying to be is just too different from who they currently are!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-17 19:50
I see it far too often in coaching and in a way, it is nothing but a sneaky form of self sabotage. Self acceptance is a much better way to grow and improve IMHO!
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# Ana 2016-09-16 21:32
I totally agree with you! Health is wealth and we need to take care of our body properly!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-17 09:20
After being sick for a few days i agree more wholeheartedly than ever!
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# bee 2016-09-14 23:38
I really agree with setting realistic goals. This is a good read
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-15 09:21
Thanks Bee. I have come to realise that realistic is the difference between a big dream and fantasy!
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# Tiina A 2016-09-13 20:31
Too good to be true - that's what makes us wondering what's behind it. a bit more about goals - I think that I might even be a bit afraid of setting goals. I don't know why - perhaps I already have a hint that I'm not going to make it anyway.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-14 07:35
It is so important to know yourself, we are all so different and at the end of the day, no-one else can figure us out as well as we can figure ourselves out. That process of building trust in yourself and your ability to show up, to face fears and stretch yourself into achieving bigger things, is the start. Without trust, it is hard to even go there.
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# Daisy Crawford 2016-09-13 12:39
You're totally right. We must be in tune with our bodies... I heard a quote somewhere that went like... eat like you love yourself... work like you love yourself... treat yourself like you love yourself. And torturing yourself with goals that aren't true to you is not the way to go! We should strive to be healthy, but not that thin model on the magazine front cover.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-14 07:30
That is a really lovely quote, Daisy. Loving ourselves into good behaviour is so different to shaming ourselves. We need more loving in this world of ours!
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# Joanna 2016-09-13 11:49
I am actually in my second week in my "get slimmer" plan. I've made an effort to go to the gym every day or at least if I can't, just do at least 10.000 steps or go on a 10 miles bike ride. I have also been eating healthier, lots of vegetables and guess what? I can see a difference! And this motivates me to keep going, even if everything hurts.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-14 07:28
Good for you, Joanna! There is nothing more motivating than seeing the difference and your enthusiasm is so inspiring. Lol! I love that feeling of sore muscles even though I grumble like mad.
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# lex 2016-09-13 09:20
setting goals in life is just the only way we can better the previous person we were, thanks for sharing.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-14 07:25
That's a lovely way of putting it, to be better than we were. Thanks, Lex!
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# Jessica 2016-09-13 07:54
The important thing is to set realistic goals so you don't frustrate yourself along the way as you try to reach a certain goal.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 08:29
Overwhelming yourself does not help at all. It is such a tricky line and at the same time, there is nothing nicer than the sense of achievement from having pushed yourself and made it.
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# Carrie 2016-09-13 07:41
I love setting realistic goals! My issue lately has been setting goals that sometimes are too easy so I don't have to work for them. However going too high and setting unrealistic goals is far worse.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 08:27
Setting a good goal really is a skill we have to learn, Carrie, it is one of those things that has to be just right. Not too difficult, not too easy, I sound like Goldilocks!
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# Elizabeth O. 2016-09-13 04:18
Setting realistic goals is better than just simply setting goals that you want to happen without thinking about how to make it happen. These are very good points!
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:18
Thanks, Elizabeth. That process of uncovering what is truly meaningful in your life is one of the most intriguing parts of coaching.
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# Kari 2016-09-13 03:24
I love that quote! Sometimes people take everything that's written too seriously.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:17
Mark Twain is superb, so many of his quotes are so insightful. These days with so much information out there you really do have to be careful as to what you trust.
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# Liz Mays 2016-09-12 23:17
You definitely have to find a balance when setting goals. Setting big, broad goals doesn't seem to work for me unless I plan the steps.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:15
The two do go so well together, don’t they, Liz!
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# Megan Ogden 2016-09-12 23:06
I wouldn't get anything done if I didnt set goals! But I agree, you should really know what you want before you set yourself up for failure.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:14
The damage that we do to our trust in ourselves can be long lasting if we continually set ourselves up for disappointment. The biggest breakthrough for coaching clients often come from getting to know themselves and figuring out what they really want. Making it happen is the easy part!
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# Ana De- Jesus 2016-09-12 22:24
So true , sometimes we can lose sight of ourselves when we set goals and that is not always a good thing.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:11
You have hit the nail on the head, Ana. If a goal is not deeply connected to who you are and the current circumstances of your life, it is nothing more than fantasy.
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# Brian 2016-09-12 20:19
Buckwheat bread lol. I guess I'm somewhere in between healthy and careless. I don't eat "greasy" food but I love my sweets. I haven't eaten American "fast food" in 15 years.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:09
Somewhere in between sounds like a good place to be, Brian. You want to eat to fuel your body but really, food can be such a pleasure, you want to be able to enjoy what you eat as well. IMHO!
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# Tiina A 2016-09-12 19:36
That is so true! I for example set goals for myself which are not necessarily exactly what Iwant or I simple don'r have a plan how to go for them.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:06
I think we underestimate the importance of setting a good quality goal sometimes, Tiina.
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# David 2016-09-12 15:24
People should totally learn few things before setting goals or expectations. It's really not that easy to just make a goal or do something that you never done before. But it's all about experience.
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# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-09-13 07:06
I see a lot of unrealistic expectations in coaching and it's the hardest thing to work with because of the potential for disappointment. Slow and steady progress is definitely a preferred way to go.
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