There is something delightful about the blissful feeling of a new … anything. It can be a new love, fabulous job or car that for a while makes the whole world sparkle. We are better than ever, energised, enthused and ready to roll. However, a few years down the line, the picture is not always so rosy.

Those adorable traits we sooooo fell in love with, have turned into teeth-grinding grounds for causing bodily harm to our beloved. Our dream job has become a prison of hard labour for measly pay, and as for the car? Well, that was traded in ages ago, but you should see the fantastic new model that has just come out!

If I was a psychologist, I would probably be interested in the 'why' of this dynamic, but as a Life Coach, I am far more interested in the 'what can we do about it?'. There are some hard facts we need to face. Firstly, reality often does not live up to the thoughts in our heads. The human mind has the most extraordinary capacity for creative thinking, but as anyone disillusioned with 'The Secret' and 'Law of Attraction' will know, manifesting what you think is not as simple as it sounds.

So is this really the end of the fairy tale for us? I certainly don't think so. While I love a happy ending as much as anyone, my definition of a happy ending has changed over the years. I've found that once the initial euphoria has ebbed and our rough edges have been rubbed off, the real us has the opportunity to emerge. There is something about the depth and richness of being real that wins hands down every time. The messy roller coaster ride of vulnerability can transform into greater joy and connectedness than we can begin to conceive.

So what do we do when the sheen of our life has dulled? This is where we have to hang on and hold our seat. We are being asked to open up to all of life, it's disappointments as well as it's joys, successes as well as failures. It takes courage to let go of outdated ideas and embrace the uncertainty of not knowing, to lean in to pain and look into situations not at them .

'Becoming' hurts sometimes. The truth is, living an authentic life is not a happily ever after, it's more that when you are real, you don't mind the hurt quite so much.