I recently attended a Business Woman's Breakfast with the gorgeous Sihle Makhanya as the guest speaker. As a top five finalist for the 2015 Miss South Africa, apart from being an absolute beauty, she is confident, knows what she wants and has the courage to make it happen. She is a stunning twenty-three year old in all respects.

Every Life Coach knows that 'knowing what you want' is a pretty good starting point to 'getting what you want.' However, that's not always how life pans out and at twenty-three, I probably had a much better idea of what I wanted from life than I do now. Somewhere along the way things change and in fact, many people come to life coaching, not for help in GETTING what they want, but for help with FIGURING out what they actually want.  

We start out striding in the right direction and then all sorts of unexpected events entice or drag us off our chosen path. By the time we realise we're heading in the wrong direction, we've often lost sight of where we were going in the first place. The problem comes when during this process, we lose sight of ourselves as well. If that happens, you can ask yourself, 'What do I want?' until the end of time and not come up with any useful answers.

As children we are like sponges soaking up the ideas and beliefs of our parents and teachers, and of course, we also learn from our own experiences. Over time we decided things and act accordingly but as we get older, we realise that what we expect from ourselves or others is often not how things turn out to be. As disappointing as that feeling can be, it's actually a wonderful sign.

A tricky aspect of life coaching is encouraging clients to leave behind what they know, (or think they know!) and hang out in uncertainty for a while. Not knowing can be a horrible feeling, it's awkward and uncomfortable and the urge to get to more familiar territory is overwhelming. But it's here, as we teeter and stumble, that we flex muscles we've never used before.

In the midst of uncertainty, we start to experience a different kind of balance, one that re-introduces us to ourselves. It's in discovering who we are that new possibilities become well... possible. So if you are 40 and floundering, don't despair, Life Coaching can and does help. Give me a call!