Thursday, 13 August 2015 07:19

...Because I said so!

Rate this item
(0 votes)
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who do.
Robert K. Muller

Recently a client loaned a copy of Tom Shadyac's documentary, 'I Am', to me. I LOVED it! It explores the questions of what's wrong with the world and what can we do about it. Best summed up in GK Chesterton's essay on the topic; What's wrong with the world? 'Dear Sirs,' he wrote, 'I am.'

The world currently seems overcome with greed and war but the movie describes how, in reality, our essential nature is one of love and connection, not just to each other but to all forms of life. It was a beautiful and inspiring movie and I was bouncing around with a warm, joyful feeling that I desperately wanted to share with Kevin.

He, however, didn't want to watch so I begged, pleaded, cajoled and negotiated with him. He simply wasn't interested. Talk about crashing back down to earth with a rather unsightly thud! I mean seriously, a message of love and connection so important to me and he just wasn't interested? That can't possibly be right...

Lets back up a step. Have you ever had an impassioned vegan try to convince you to give up all things animal? Or someone argue with your religious beliefs? The more force, shame or ridicule they use to get you to agree with them, the less chance they have of convincing you to do what they want. The spirit of the movie I Am is about raising consciousness and although I started out with good intentions, at some point I crossed over into wanting to impose my wishes on someone else. At that moment I started becoming what's wrong with the world.

When I take my ideas, no matter how beautiful or right they might be and try to force them on to someone else, I am what's wrong with the world. Disappointment leads to anger and within seconds respect is lost. By believing I know best what is right for someone else, I become a war-monger entitled to impose my will and take what I want. Righteousness is a very dangerous emotion.

It's easy to love when everything is happy and good, but when things don't go our way, or someone disapproves or disagrees with us, we feel outraged and indignant. This is where the real work needs to happen. Can we love and stay connected right there in the midst of anger and disagreement? Can we remember our essential nature of love and connection in that moment? Can you?

Click here to receive updates via RSS:

Comments  

# Nina 2016-10-19 00:53
People never change their views when they feel belittled or insulted. If we wish to change, we must change with love.

Nina
aworldofdresses.com
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-19 07:37
So true, Nina and well said.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Lubka Henry 2016-10-17 23:00
It is true that sometimes with the best of intentions we can actually do more harm than good.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 07:21
We really can, it is our ignorance not our intentions that can be the problem.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Jennifer L 2016-10-17 20:04
It definitely can be hard to dial down in our passions and want to show the world our viewpoint. But we definitely forget about the difference between sharing and enforcing our viewpoint. Thanks for the food for thought.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 07:20
You have summarised they lesson I learnt with this little incident with my husband, perfectly, Jennifer. It was such an eye-opener for me and I was quite stunned at the anger in my righteous indignation! It was one of those wow, where did this come from moments.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Surekha 2016-10-17 15:46
Thank you so much for recommending the book. I am right now searching on Amazon to get the book. I think, it's a good thing (at times) when someones disapproves us, it helps us to see things from a different angle at the same time when I want to do/have something badly and others disapprove of it, I anyway go do it :)
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 07:18
Surekha, I am not sure if it is a book, Tom Shadyac is a movie Director and as far as I know he made the movie from his own experience of falling off a bike and hitting his head so hard he was seriously concussed for months. The pain he was in made him question life and lead to the movie. And good for you for doing it anyway! People always think they no better but whether they actually do is debatable.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Elizabeth O. 2016-10-17 07:44
Wow! That's so right. Thanks for giving out the title, I would love to watch this movie. I think we all do at some point. Because it does make sense. What's wrong is when we try to force something for people who look at the world differently from how we see it. We all need to learn to live and let live and to accept that we are not the same.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-18 07:15
It was a brilliant movie, Elizabeth and well worth watching if you can get hold of it. In South Africa it is not well known, which is a great pity. The idea that we know better and the whole right and wrong dynamic really are at the root of pretty much all evil. Mammoth undertaking to change those mental habits, but I'm on to it and it sounds like you are too!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Kristen 2016-10-17 02:05
Wow. I could not agree more with what you wrote. I have had many try to force ideas upon me and it makes me not want to listen to a word they say.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-17 07:29
Lol, it is so much easier to remember how awful it is when it is happening to you, rather than when it is you doing the forcing. Such a lesson!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# soniya 2016-10-17 01:24
I 100% agree with you we need to clam and think carefully rather then just reacting to something which we dnt agree too.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-17 07:26
Very much so, Soniya that gap before we react gives us time to think more clearly and that can be a great help.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Chrissie Emm 2016-10-17 00:35
This is a great post. I too agree that when things are great or agreed upon we tend to love it. I learnt to accept that what may be the best choice for me isnt always the best choice for someone else. I actually love debates with others on our differences of opinions,it helps me to see points of view that I otherwise wouldnt.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-17 07:24
Those debates where you learn something are the best. I absolutely love the rich diversity of life and as long as it is not harmful to others I am interested. So much to learn!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Dreammerin 2016-10-16 21:03
It's very interesting and very true post! I think it's nothing wrong to have different points of view. As an expat I can experience a lot of different and strange behaviors. I try not taking anything personally. As an example - when you're smiling it can be weird to others and people tend to stare when you're not sad... ;-))
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-17 07:23
Oh wow, different cultures are, well so different, aren't they. It's so interesting about the smiling. What is polite to one culture can be downright offensive to another. Crazy!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Joanna 2016-10-15 15:13
We are all different and we have different views over the world. Many of these views have been imposed to us while we were growing up by our parents, by our cultures, by religion, even by our countries. We try to impose our views over other people because that's what we believe in, while the others believe in what they have been raised to, same as us. It's important to open our minds and realise that each of us is different and that we should accept and embrace that, without getting angry or upset. Just open our minds!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-17 07:21
Well said Joanna! And it is so true, half the things we defend so vehemently are not even our own thoughts, just blind faith in what we have been told. Wars are made of this kind of thinking which is truly tragic.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Ana 2016-10-15 01:28
In my last job, my boss used to disapproves all my ideas and always accepts the ideas of my male colleagues! I used to get angry but later I prepared myself to stop bothering about these things in life and always moving forward with no grudges for anyone!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-15 04:03
That's tough, Ana, especially at work. Good for you for not letting it get on top of you. It is not easy to do that, so it is really something to acknowledge yourself for.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# brian 2016-10-14 22:10
Those who know the least seem to know it the loudest? The vegans I've known were never pushy, but they did like to mention certain "facts" I should be aware of.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-15 04:02
I tell you Brian, that lesson that the loudest is not necessarily the wisest took me some time to learn. Oh and you gotta love the 'be aware of for your on good!"
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Liz Mays 2016-10-14 21:51
These are some interesting things to ponder. It's definitely important not to lose perspective, even if there is a disagreement.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-15 04:00
It is and marriage can be an even more tricky playground!
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# Fatima 2016-10-14 20:06
I totally agree with you that its always easy to accept things when they really are acceptable to us. Otherwise, we often tend to get grumpy and ungrateful for things we are blessed with.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
# - Soul Sense Coaching 2016-10-14 20:16
Lol. I am a little sensitive to the words grumpy and ungrateful but if the cap fits, best I wear it.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote

Add comment


Refresh