No man is the worse for knowing the worst of himself.
Thomas Fuller
My husband and I recently stayed overnight with my sister in Johannesburg. We were leaving at the crack of dawn the following morning and needed to refrigerate some groceries we had bought while visiting the shopping mecca of SA. Now, while Kevin excels at many things, waking up is ... well, just not his thing. I, on the other hand, wake up instantly chipper with a thousand thoughts flying around my head, albeit none of them particularly practical. Bottom line, the chances of us remembering the groceries were pretty slim.
As we packed our purchases into the fridge, we raised our eyebrows at each other and without saying a word, Kevin placed the car keys on top of the fridge. It was a foolproof reminder to our early morning selves that worked like a charm.
The beauty of knowing yourself, both strengths and weaknesses, is that in those places where you are not particularly strong, you can make life easier for yourself. Here's a question, when you mess up or do something embarrassing, do you try to help yourself? Or do you turn on yourself and berate or shame those tender parts that most need your support?
Coming to know ourselves must be approached with warmth and affection; a gentle, friendly curiosity about who we are. Self-acceptance is about welcoming all of you into your life, the crappy and the happy! It's about being as kind to the forgetful, insensitive or just plain nasty parts of yourself as you are to an unhappy child. When we see a mom struggling to deal with a child having a tantrum, we don't take it personally. Our hearts go out to both of them, we know how hard it is to be a parent and we empathise with the the heartbroken child.
But do we do the same within ourselves? There are times we have to step up and be the parent in our own life, to take responsibility and say no firmly, without compromise. Maybe we have to delay gratification now for a longer term benefit later or make hard decisions in which we will have to live with the consequence.
So what kind of a parent are you to yourself? An angry one that shames and blames? Or a wise and kind source of guidance? Do you comfort yourself when you are upset, even when you are being unreasonable? Especially when you are being unreasonable? If not, now is a good time to start. You can change. You can do it differently. It is possible.
Comments
Awesome post! Blessings!