Somewhere in the dark recess of every families, there lurks one. That elderly aunt or uncle, annoying in-law, or crazy cousin who start speaking and drones on so long we want to weep with boredom. There's no escape, they're family, so we man up to grin and bear it.

With life being what it is most of us have, at some stage or another, been annoyed by some tiny little thing that doesn't go our way. A disagreement here, a delay there, the opportunities for frustration are endless, but have you ever listened to your inner voice when you are upset about something?

Seriously, it does not shut up! Worse than the worst elderly aunt, on and on it goes, relentlessly 'what if-ing' and 'should-ing', keeping us awake at night, waking us up in the early hours of the morning. It's relentless. And heaven forbid we've been treated unfairly... then the gloves really come off and it can get ugly. Basically, we either turn on the person who upset us or we turn on ourself. Both options are as harmful as each other; we wind ourselves up and it's exhausting. Hoo boy!

The interesting thing about being as mad as hell about something, is noticing how easily it passes. Think about it. Sometimes all it takes is a supportive comment from a friend, a song on the radio or two words, I'm sorry, and and the whole hula hoop of agitation dissolves. Or, if the issue is not a particularly big one, after a few days we simply stop thinking about it and a few months later, we don't even remember what actually happened.

I'd like to suggest an alternative. What if we purposely give it up? What would our life be like if we decided to stop whipping ourselves into a frenzy with our own thoughts? In the same way as we are stuck with that one irritating family member, we are stuck with ourselves, in this case, 24/7. There really is no escape. So what if next time you are huffing and puffing over something that can't be changed, you give up the huffing and puffing?

Self-mastery starts here, with mastering our thoughts and how we speak to ourselves. I once heard it explained beautifully. Treat your negative emotions like an unwelcome guest,  invite them in for tea, but don't invite them to live with you. It's a liberating thought. Be the gatekeeper. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!